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ACCOMPLISHED the majority of my work to-do-list for this week?

i don’t think this has ever happened at this new job. ever.

the meetingthing went surprisingly well—i am terrible at Presentations and Brevity and Normal Words so i expected worse.

and people are excited to launch this thing soon maybe and idk idk i think it could be cool.

thREE DAY WEEKEND OMG.

I SURVIVED.

Your brain is wired for survival, not happiness. That is why it keeps bringing up negative emotions, past mistakes and worries about the future. Because of this wiring, you can get stuck in repetitive cycles of self-criticism, worry and fear that interfere with your ability to enjoy the present moment.

i wrote THREE WHOLE OFFICIAL-TYPE PAGES OF STRATEGY AND SOCIAL-MEDIA-OUTREACH-TIMELINE AND RETURN-ON-INVESTMENTS NONSENSE for that creativity-in-the-mental-health-and/or-addiction-healing/coping-process-gallery/community/resourceplace/thing.

which we are FINALLY ACTUALLY LAUNCHING i guess..?

it got put way on the backburner because many tiny work emergencies in a row. plus the original main delay due to (fun irony!!) my mental health preventing me from working on it.

BUT

YEAH

IT MAY HAPPEN.

THIS IS A THING I MADE UP AND MY BOSSES DECIDED WAS WORTH DOING.

WE WILL SEE IF THING.

i even deleted the line at the end of the three pages (after “discuss how we can make this campaign more attractive/engaging to its intended audience”) that said “i need help with this part because i don’t know why normal people do things or how to get them to care.”

such professional self-restraint right.

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THAT THIS IS APPARENTLY LABOR DAY WEEKEND.

THIS IMPROVES THINGS.

a disadvantage of working at a startup is that your bosses regularly forget that holidays exist, since their jobs are just kind of their lives and they tend to be not so good at compartmentalizing. 

but if coworkers and i go HELLO YES MONDAY IS LABOR DAY WORK SHOULD NOT BE A THING they’ll be like OH SHIT OKAY and there will be no drama.

and i’ll probably do work anyway. just from home. in sweatpants. and after sleeping until noon.

the longest fucking text post ever. about a million different things. none of which are really the original thought that started it. and all of which i probably said wrong. it’s 5:30am so like nobody will see this but i’m tagging a few of you because we’ve had these conversations and you might be interested idek.

general fuckery warning. discussion of sexual assault, misogyny, rape culture.

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ohdeargodbees:

wilwheaton:

konradwerks:

The situation is just intolerable. 
There have been a lot of really insightful write-ups recently. A broader perspective—and I almost cringe to say—catch-all by Molly Crabapple left me gasping for breath. This write up, by Elizabeth Sampat giving her thoughts on an industry that’s very dear to me, delivered the final blow and left me in tears.
It’s really rare that I create from a place of grief. It’s just not how I operate. But it’s largely what I have openly felt for the last few days, and reflecting on it, it’s been there for far longer.
This quote from Elizabeth’s piece— “We should have a war memorial for all of the women we have lost to this. We should lay flowers and grieve and see our reflections in stone.”— struck a very literal chord in me.
So yeah, here it is. A place just for me where I can light a candle and remember all of the wonderful people I probably will never get the chance to meet.  Folks that have been driven away by these horrible fucks that have the audacity to think they know what gaming and community is about.
en memoriam.

I have never, in my life, been ashamed to call myself a gamer. Until now. These misogynist little shitbags are a disgrace to our community.
All of us who care about gaming need to step up and save our community, while there is still something about it that’s worth saving.

RIP women like me. This is beautiful.
I refuse to be added to or thought of as a casualty though. I can keep going. But those who couldn’t or can’t, you are missed. Your voices are missed. I hope I can help carry your memory forward and continue to say “never again”.

ohdeargodbees:

wilwheaton:

konradwerks:

The situation is just intolerable.

There have been a lot of really insightful write-ups recently. A broader perspective—and I almost cringe to say—catch-all by Molly Crabapple left me gasping for breath. This write up, by Elizabeth Sampat giving her thoughts on an industry that’s very dear to me, delivered the final blow and left me in tears.

It’s really rare that I create from a place of grief. It’s just not how I operate. But it’s largely what I have openly felt for the last few days, and reflecting on it, it’s been there for far longer.

This quote from Elizabeth’s piece— “We should have a war memorial for all of the women we have lost to this. We should lay flowers and grieve and see our reflections in stone.”— struck a very literal chord in me.

So yeah, here it is. A place just for me where I can light a candle and remember all of the wonderful people I probably will never get the chance to meet.  Folks that have been driven away by these horrible fucks that have the audacity to think they know what gaming and community is about.

en memoriam.

I have never, in my life, been ashamed to call myself a gamer. Until now. These misogynist little shitbags are a disgrace to our community.

All of us who care about gaming need to step up and save our community, while there is still something about it that’s worth saving.

RIP women like me. This is beautiful.

I refuse to be added to or thought of as a casualty though. I can keep going. But those who couldn’t or can’t, you are missed. Your voices are missed. I hope I can help carry your memory forward and continue to say “never again”.

(via brotheralyosha)

so i was like “hm i should go get a coffeedrank for tomorrow + some snacks from the 7-11 across the street,” and in an attempt to make a decision about it, the thought-trail i am now looping through is:

- what if a person in your building sees you and says hi or something.
- there are occasionally loud maybe-drunk people outside and one of them might see you and say hi or something.
- you’ll have to interact with the cashier regardless.
- who is probably judging you for buying stuff at a 7-11 at 1:30am.
- like “lol wow you’re breaking so many Social Rules You Stupidly Don’t Know About right now”
- despite the fact that that is why 24-hour 7-11s exist?
- are snacks worth this collective embarrassment brick-to-the-face?
- (despite the fact that what you seem to be embarrassed about is…existing…which is really unnecessary…)

..are there people who don’t have to gear up to weather the self-loathing storm when they want to go to 7-11?

(i think these people are also a myth.)

did one of the last big chunks of annoying data entry work for jeorb#2. 

now i just have to…figure out how to quit without dying of UNNECESSARY SHAME. 

(shhhhh brain you have to change SOMETHING because having-too-much-to-do-to-sleep-ever is not going to go away if you keep trying to do the same amount of things. that’s a mathematical impossibility. you cannot effort your way out of science.)

andromedalogic:

THAT’S the thing

YEP it’s called inertia

this article might be helpful to you

inertia is a huuuge problem for a lot of autistic people but it’s not specific to autism, i think it’s a component of severe depression/anxiety too and probably other types of badbrains

i would like to take this reblog to remember that meda sent me this article like a year+ ago and the realization that this was an ACTUAL THING THAT HAPPENS and wasn’t just me being THE LAZIEST MOST UNWORTHY-OF-BREATHING HUMAN WHO HAS EVER LIVED was legitimately life-altering and helps me soo much.

a woman who blogs for the client i blog for (named kristen) wrote a post that involved a pro/con chart for dating (a guy) vs being single (which work had me design, hence my knowledge thereof.)

and one of the cons was “having to watch scifi movies.”

and i yelled out loud at work HOW THE HELL IS WATCHING SCIFI MOVIES WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND A DOWNSIDE, THAT IS LIKE THE BEST POSSIBLE THING. WHO ARE YOU KRISTEN.  I DON’T UNDERSTAAAND.