ughHH gonna go to the open mic thing tonight because i haven’t gone in a while and i WILL ENJOY MYSELF i’ve just been hiding from people for 10000 years and everything is uncomfortable.

[don’t reblog this post! there will be more Official-Type Announcements happening maybe next week. this is more just “i know people who might care about this and we need to get the project off the ground before letting the world know.]

OKAY HELLO FRIENDS HERE IS POST ABOUT THAT THING I’M DOING. IF YOU ARE AN ART PERSON MAYBE READ??

so this came out of a bunch of conversations i had with my bosses + a blog post i wrote about the relationship between creative work and mental illness—how the act of making art is an important cathartic experience for many people, and how the artwork itself can be instrumental in fighting stigma, building empathy, and connecting individuals who feel alone in their experiences with others who can understand.

we came up with the idea of doing an online gallery/community/portal for all things related to creativity and recovery in all their forms. the main feature, starting out, is going to be a gallery of artwork, writing, etc, that has been somehow influenced by the artists’ struggles with mental illness, substance addiction, trauma, and the like, along with short “artist’s statements” explaining that connection. the goal is to promote artists who have faced these problems and/or whose work increases their social visibility, and also to foster conversation/connection between people this project may speak to.

this addiction/mental health treatment center my company does a lot of work for has a philosophy of treating its clients (they specialize in working with young adults) as individuals in control of their own lives, and uses a holistic model of therapy and life-skills-training to help these kids not only overcome their immediate struggles, but also build confidence and competence that will help their lives become more stable.

so this campaign is being run under their name as kind of an affirmation of their values and a way to be involved in the community. but we really need to know if this is a thing people are going to connect to and care about, and i’m really really scared, SO THIS IS WHERE YOU COME IN.

so basically: if this project applies to you and you’re comfortable having any art/writing/etc you’ve done + a short writeup of the story behind it published on this site, that would be amazing and i’ll love you forever etc etc. you don’t have to include your name or any identifying information,  but for people who are looking to get some name recognition, promote their blog/website/book/whatever, this is a good way to do that. there’s most likely going to be a huge publicity push for this project (and i have a lot of future plans for expanding it/doing different stuff/etc) so there’s the potential for a lot of page hits and public attention.

YOU CAN SUBMIT STUFF ON THIS WEBSITE I MADE (though it’s not 100% done; there are still some issues i’m working on) OR YOU CAN JUST GET IN TOUCH WITH ME SOMEHOW. I MEAN YOU’RE MY FRIENDS YOU KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.

there were so many personality-and-friendship-defining moments that january though. like they’re not pleasant memories, but still good ones, if that makes any sense.

the breakup happened on a sunday night, and on monday i not only went to scifi class, but couldn’t not participate in class discussion. so i was arguing with people about star trek in the most exhausted i-have-been-crying-for-the-past-several-hours monotone, and that is just so hilarious and depressing and so me.

and i remember getting to class and standing outside the room staring blankly at a vending machine for like SEVERAL MINUTES before a friend of mine showed up and asked how i was doing, and i just said “i want a snickers bar” as if it was some great cosmic mystery i was attempting to unravel. (he jumped in and bought me one and i ate it sadly at my desk until some people were wrong about star trek.)

and that night i ended up just crying and talking to a circle of friends in holt lobby for over half an hour, and people just kept coming over and sitting down to listen to me even though i’m sure i wasn’t making any sense, and i’m pretty sure that for the rest of my life that’s going to be one of the kindest and most important things anybody has ever done for me. 

> is now super sad.
> needs to go to bed but too sad to sleep.
> thinks “wait fuck how did i used to manage this?”
> remembers that this is why/how i accidentally watched 2.5 seasons of my little pony.

i am 

GOING TO 24HOUR FITNESS TONIGHT.

IT’S BEEN LIKE THREE MONTHS I’M ACTUALLY GOING TO DIE.

as of tuesday night: Actual Purple Hair For Real This Time. (the original dye washed out in like three days.)

as of tuesday night: Actual Purple Hair For Real This Time. (the original dye washed out in like three days.)

today i slept until 2:30pm and then forgot to drink any coffee and lapsed into MOLASSES MODE until i remembered.

so my accomplishments as of 8:30pm are 1) reading like 60 pages of that okcupid-horror-stories blog and lamenting either my lack-of-bravery-in-that-i’d-rather-die-than-ever-be-on-a-dating-site or the-fact-that-i-experience-relationship-type-loneliness-at-all (i can’t decide which one is the actual cause of the lament), 2) buying a bunch of food now that i have a functional refrigerator, and 3) paying my internet bill.

good job, me.